Monday, May 2, 2011

Day 122/365 I miss you Grandma

I can't believe you're gone now,
I wish it weren't true.
You were always there beside me,
You with me and me with you.
Walking and talking together,
You solved all my woes,
You had all of my secrets,
Things that nobody else knows.
I hope that you could feel
How much I adored YOU,
I always knew you loved me,
You let your feelings ring true.
I will try to carry on
All the lessons that you taught.
The things you tried to show me
Were not shown for naught.
Your example of how to live life,
In me you did instill.
I know the body has to die,
but my love for you never will.
You are the apple of my eye,
my sunshine, bright and true.
You're the best woman that I know,
I miss and will always love you.

That's the poem I wrote 5 years ago, May 2, when my Grandma passed away.  Not a word has changed since then, my heart still aches for her.  I still burst into tears from time to time because there is something I want to tell her, or I need to feel her hug, or I just want her to see how my kids have grown.
I hope that I can be as wonderful of a person as she was.  She made everybody feel like he/she was her best friend if you hung around with her for any amount of time.  I never knew her to have a selfish bone in her body, I had her wrapped around my finger.
I believe in reincarnation.  I think we're here to learn a lesson and once we've learned it, then we can choose to go back to the "other world". But, I think that when we're ready to learn the next lesson, we can come back here to do so.  I think that we've crossed paths with important people in our lives along the way. I think those people that you are so familiar with and love and understand each other deeply are your soulmates.  My Grandma is/was my soulmate.  We understood and loved each other very deeply.
I watched her leave the world and it was one of the most moving moments of my life.  I could see her leaving and could feel it happening the whole day and night.  I didn't want her too, I miss her so badly.  I feel like part of me broke when she left.  It hasn't been fixed.
I hope she is proud of me.  I try to make choices based on how I think she would feel about things.
I miss you Grandma.  My love is forever.
No picture today- just old ones and a video of our song.

3 comments:

  1. touching poem. I'm so glad she was there for you in so many ways and helped shape you into the truely wonderful person you are. Because of her, you are a better person. Because of you, we are better people. I know your grams would be very proud of you.
    Sending you a big hug. Lots of love.

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  2. Missing her with you. I know she's always with you and proud, a spirit guide.

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  3. I lost my grandma in January 2011. I am sitting here crying as i read your poem, because it is reflective of exactly how I felt about my grandma. I especially like the part about being your soulmate. I feel exactly the same way. Thank you for sharing.

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